Tuesday, March 15, 2016


*Colloquial Written English Glossary:
  • Lyk: Like
  • Ur: Your
  • U: You
  • @: At
  • &: And
  • r: Are
  • w: with
  • tryna: trying to
  • nu: new
*Words in Capital Letters (lyk these) should be understood w Special Importance

Me, 2016;

It had been a long time since I felt lyk this. In fact, maybe, I've never felt lyk this? I don't know. Suddenly, the outside judgements r so good (as always) but now I DO see them.
Individuals want to create a union w me. It's not that they didn't do it in the past, but now the desire of some of them shines above the skies & moon.
Need to follow my Persona, my thoughts, my ideas, suck from them, like a baby from his mother when he's still blooming. Some do it from the shadows, (indirectly), some come and ask for advice, help or just conversation. Recommendations...
And now, they make me want to go on & not stay in nothing (main difference-).
Now, my feelings are so strange/good/strange. Maybe not strange but... not common. In me. I just -finally- FEEL GOOD.
I KNOW what I want.
What I deserve & need.
I know who I am & who I want to be.
I even know who I would spend my time with, & why it is Worth to do it. (Suddenly my time seems to have value, not to others... but to Me!)
Isn't all of this surprising? : -Clear ideas, few worries-.
"Almost complete" Self-Consciousness.
But never stopping wanting to know more & sink into the pits of new
& knowledge,
& arts

You & U W Me (1st)

My God, I luv your face as it shines when I look @ u, blessed w the sparkle of a child.
I love the moment when suddenly all ur attention is poured into me as I talk, in fact, it is SO strong that my thoughts collapse, because I've already finished my story... & your eyes continue stabbing me, with a thought about something I said sailing in ur mind, or maybe just feeding ur eyes w the sight of my face. Whatever it is; it is astonishing.
You say you want to create a hollow in my lips just with kisses. With YOUR kisses...: I'd sink into them, & into Ur mouth, & into Ur eyes & Ur mind & Ur sex a thousand times in loop.
It -this- is strange because everything u do is kind of a surprise, kisses included. My Lord...

You & U W Me (2nd)

I'm tryna learn every inch of ur body, of ur Beautiful Body: ur soft skin, ur body's freckles -moles-, every corner where I can hide when the outside world is tough & grief comes after me.
I love all of ur features (You asked me; "what do u like about me? here u are, -a part of all I love-): (on repeat):
(I call you:) "a speck of dust I've been carrying some time in  my right eye. It is annoying, uncomfortable, irritating, inconvenient, inquisitive, beautiful, interesting, curious, wide, large, intelligent, ambivalent, unique" ( http://www.crashingshiver.blogspot.com.es/2016/01/f.html ) ; and now not on repeat:
Cultivated, handsome, imaginative, kind, attractive, attentive, courteous, listener, talker, teller, teacher, master, sexy, curious -AGAIN-, creative, understanding, starver for knowledge & experience, responsible -reliable-, adventurous, interesting -again, in a mysterious way sometimes-, with a stunning Aura, affectionate, caring, maddening!, funny, witty...
And I love the way u appreciate the Whole me: not just an opinion, a though I have on something, or a singer or an artist I luv, but the whole thing: all the contradictions: "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large - I contain multitudes." (Ldr) - (another coincidence of those of which we have so many).
Above all, the fact that U really have an interest 4 what I have to say & my hunger to know, & your own hunger too, & our urge to get to know All we can know, & discuss it, & think, & reflect on life & its loops and intrinsic mysteries
... and the HOWs & WHYs
Oh, I almost forgot how I luv ur Rebellious Soul & the yen u have to wake all the minds around you up, to see, to Open their eyes & minds & see the real world &... CHANGE it.
And last, but not least, I love the way u Touch me, the way We switch from tenderness to the most perverse fantasy our minds could create. How I scream in the inside because of ur tongue, or ur mouth: how u push me to also do it on the outside... 
Thank U for the beautiful garden we're growing, & the nu house in the gap between my collarbones and my neck, & the one u allowed me to build in ur gap, wooden log by wooden log.

Let's end with a beautiful quote... "We r Ugly, But We Have the Music" (L. Cohen)

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Garden

There is a garden. Hot red, green & blue.
Delicate hands care after the flowers. Rough ones look after the trees. You'd say those trees are small & young, but they grow into the land. Their roots rush to the pits of an unknown universe, icebergs to the eyes of the mass.
Three moons look at us from our sky: one gives us tenderness, the other one lights up desire, & the last one beats & pounds for our love.
When we sleep, ivy curls around our dead bodies. When the sun rises up, the smell of hydrangea caresses our senses.
Our bodies meet, energizing the garden: suddenly, flowers bloom. Colors come to life. On the peak of our mountain, the rythmic pounds of the hearts, make the land shiver. In the end, we provoke a little earthquake. Then, the calm comes. Music notes start to play. Even the criket stops singing now.
They know about the intimacy we share.
They want to share it with us. We make them levitate. We raise their world.
Our world.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Beautiful Player

L is for the love that you gave and took away
O is for the only one I wanted to stay
V is for my valiant valium baby
E is for the X that we took with champagne

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Primero de Febrero

Es maravilloso, notar y sentir conexiones
Llega a dar vértigo, notar y sentir tales conexiones
Pensamientos enlazados
Personajes en común
Citas recordadas en el mismo instante
Saber que sabes lo que el otro piensa
Pensar que sabes lo que el otro sabe... sabiéndolo él

Es increíble que la persona, incluso a través de pantallas
Avance tanto en tan poco
Sin ser una mentira
Sólo con los puentes
que nos atrevemos a crear

El ser humano me asusta y me maravilla en la misma medida
El sentimiento puro
Los temblores y los destellos
La inocencia desvelada
(y la falta de ella)

La simple calma final.

Monday, February 8, 2016


Los reproches callados , los pleitos
Los prejuicios, las miradas
Los do de pecho en tu cama

Intimidante mirada
Efímeras palabras
Atraviesas mi espalda...

No acallaré mi mente
No prohibiré a mi alma
Pensarte a mi lado y a ciegas
Querella de luna y estrellas
Y de seguro

que de mil damas

Thursday, February 4, 2016


It's been a long time now for me
Knowing time is an abstract concept sponsors my patience
But well
The dreams are still there
The frustrating nightmares are too
I've overcome almost everything now.
Now I can say I'm healthy, I'm not crazy
I am still what they would name crazy... but not what I do
You would never know... you would never imagine
The thorns
The tough roads
Similar to yours
The music bands
The films
The endless nights
The rebellions
The corner where I used to lie
The wounds
The art pieces
Pieces of writing
Of painting
The coffees and the teas
You would never imagine
How many reasons I have to let it be,
and not turn my back,
even if your's already turnt


I know you imagine & know about the sparkle in the eyes
and I also know you know there's more to be told
the electricity

But you don't have an idea about my offerings

just a small room to feel safe, from time to time

Let me sink in the ocean now

Wednesday, February 3, 2016


Los JÓVENES de hoy:

Comenzaré hablándole en el mismo tono que usted comienza, ya que sorprendentemente juzga a un profesional por su “foto”

Habla usted de que la generación perdida es la de los “padres”. Pues bien, debe saber que esta generación de jóvenes (siempre generalizando) ha tenido facilidades económicas y tecnológicas para ESTUDIAR, pero no para desarrollarse como personas, cultivar VALORES, aprender a ser INDEPENDIENTES, desarrollar habilidades sociales y profesionales, etc… porque se ha dado por hecho. Imagínese que una caja con imágenes le hubiera “enseñado” todo a usted. Fácil: se comportaría como en una película barata adolescente americana.

Por otra parte, imagino, que será usted un ¿hombre? en la crisis de los 50, que no ha tenido las oportunidades que están teniendo muchos jóvenes “sin merecerlo”, y que ve consternado cómo su amig@ o herman@ se parte la espalda con un/os hijo/s “desagradecidos”, “rebeldes” o “que no quieren trabajar".

Partiendo de la base, o la poca base que imagino tienen usted y más personas sobre los jóvenes, les explicaré algo: quizá en términos de pasar necesidad, trabajar con mucho esfuerzo, problemas económicos…su generación o las anteriores tuvieran más dificultades, pero asistimos ahora mismo a algo que no había ocurrido nunca antes. Los niños, los jóvenes, no son educados, sino programados. Todo está establecido, y deben ocupar un molde guardado para ellos en la sociedad (aunque ese molde no consta de puesto de trabajo, evidentemente).

Supongo que pensará que todas las “nuevas” enfermedades mentales son sólo un invento más del siglo XXI. Debe saber también que la sociedad actual es extremadamente hostil a la hora de acoger y permitir una convivencia “normal” de los jóvenes. No es de extrañar que los circuitos internos de un individuo sin bases acaben colapsando.

ACONSEJO, de verdad, que se relacionen con jóvenes, de esos apestados, rebeldes y despreciados por la sociedad, para que comprueben el nido de ideas que son, las ganas que tienen de tener estabilidad en su vida a través del esfuerzo y el aprendizaje…

Tenga en cuenta que estará hablando con un joven que se ha formado pensando en tener una familia y una casa, y que tiene muchas posibilidades de acabar con una carrera bajo el brazo y con el cartón en el que va a dormir esta noche bajo el otro.

Monday, February 1, 2016


Te leo la mente
es sincronía
lo sabes:
los años que me quedan de cultivo
conoces la complejidad
no puedes ignorarlo
sabes que estoy detrás de ti
que quiero:
cuidar tu tortura
amar tus desvelos

escribo en un ticket de letras chinas
envuelvo en un pedazo de papel de embalar
regalo en periódico
me deshago

existo en dos lugares: donde yo estoy
y donde tú estás

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Maquilladora/Estilista: Ángela Vibot Gil / Fotógrfafo: Álvaro Serrano Sierra


I've always had the urge to help tortured souls. Maybe it comes from trying to fix my own through others. I remember that bad moments. I also remember the good ones. I remember the lust with which I used to give myself to some demons. I also remember myself craving to save a life, a horrible life who came into mine. After that, I found some other
soul. But it also needed fixing. I really didn't know that, my inner self told me to hold on to a "normal" circumstance. This character of the novel of my life did very nice things to me... things that had an invisible contract beneath. My soul was being sold without me even knowing it. Every step he would take, I had to take after. Every expected movement should be accomplished. Bye-bye freedom, love of my life.

Now i've risen from the pits of hell, of that cage.
My soul is blooming.
My eyes see further than ever, except for a speck of dust I've been carrying some time in  my right eye. It is annoying, uncomfortable, irritating, inconvenient, inquisitive, beautiful, interesting, curious, wide, large, intelligent, ambivalent, unique.
The black ghost pursues me in my thoughts.
The ghost is simply so fitting it's scaring.
It promises intelectual development without even knowing it. A constant game in which it is very difficult for me to win. 
24/7 tensed up. ALL tensed up.

Let me share some time, with your persona